When I was your age, we didn't have moccasins!

Buying gifts for old people is hard.

Most older people are trying to simplify in their golden years, and if they want nicknacks, they want to pick them out themselves. That's half the fun (or so I hear).

My grandmother lives in an assisted living home. She does not need nor does she have space for home decor, decorative soaps, clever doormats, afghan blankets, cook books, coffee mugs that say "#1 Grandma" etc. etc. Now the best gift we can give her is a "gift certificate" to the local casino - she loves her field trips there.

My best friend Jocelyn went to Quebec for her Spring Break (she's a teacher) last week. Before she left, she asked me if I wanted her to bring back any souvenirs for me. Remember what I said about grand parents and nicknacks?

Jocelyn: "I'm taking orders! What do you want me to bring you?"

Me: "I don't know, what do they have? What are you getting for other people?"

Jocelyn: "I don't know yet. I'm getting moccasins for my grandma."

Me: "Are you going to an Indian Reservation??"

Jocelyn: "No! What else would you get for an 80-year-old woman?"

Me: "True, Native American apparel is totally appropriate."

The Fountain Of Youth Lies Within My Bathroom Cupboard

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Water- It Does a Body Good

All things good about me, I attribute to water. I drink a lot of it. And unlike these "eight glass a day - or else!" nazis, I do so naturally. I don't have to remind myself. I just like water - the taste, the feel, the way it quenches my thirst.

I really do credit water for a lot. I have nice skin? It's because I drink a lot of water. Oh you like my shiny hair? It's all that water I drink. Nope, I don't get hangovers. It's because I stay hydrated by drinking a lot of water. I keep fairly slim and trim because all that water I drink helps flush my system.

Water is pretty amazing, but it's not a miracle drug. Water is.. well... water. I might attribute powers it doesn't entirely deserve. It will not cure leprosy (though I don't know this from personal experience). It will not solve all of your life problems- won't earn you money and get you out of debt, help you find your perfect soulmate (though maybe the good skin/hair might help with the love aspect), won't get you out of trouble you're already in (unless that trouble happens to be a drought). But I'm pretty sure it might make you smarter. I mean I drink a lot of water, and I'm pretty near brilliant...

Got H2O?

What is today? No, not the date, the year.

I once sat there and debated with myself for a good 20-25 minutes about how old I was. I had to grab a pen and paper and do the math (let's see, I was born December 5, 1981 and the day was June 16, 2006.) That made me 25. And that was a beautiful realization because I could have sworn at the time that I was 26, but it just didn't seem right. I know plenty of people forget their age, especially after they hit 40. As I understand it, the years start to "blend together" at that point. But at 25 years of age, it shouldn't have taken me a half hour of pondering and long subtraction math to figure out things.

But wait, it gets worse. I'm a bit ashamed to admit this one, but what the hell. One day I nearly had a panic attack because I could not figure out the date. No, I wasn't just confused about what day of the month it was, or even what month of the year. It was June or July and I could not for the LIFE of me recall the date. And I thought for one minute that maybe I had suffered from a stroke, or amnesia, or come down with a case of down syndrome. It was definitely, positively 2006. No! It was 2007. Like a schizophrenic I argued with myself for at least a half hour. Then I really started to panic. Who on earth was I going to call to find out the real year? Who, who would not be concerned (my parents), think I was certifiably loco (the cute guy who sat behind me in Marketing), or confirm that I was off my rocker (my friends, who were generally suspicious anyway).

So what, do you ask, was the solution? Google. Thank you for not judging me, Google. I don't know why I didn't think to check a newspaper (or a news website), but Google kindly and gently nudged me in the right direction.

I'm going to create a website and it's going to be a fantastic hit. Totally anonymously, you too can find out the date (day, month, and year included!) There will also be a section where you can plug in your birth date (if you can't remember the year, you're SOL I'm afraid) and it will then magically tell you your age. You can thank me for that - whether it's now, or when you're 40-... something.