Today I was in Giant grocery store, the produce section to be exact, when I felt a little draft.. um... back "there." I discreetly brushed my hand to my backside and panicked. My jeans were split down the center seam. Not a little hole, I'm talking about flapping in the breeze. I already had a half-full cart of goods, so I decided to push on. I carefully continued shopping, maybe walking a little funny, and I believe the others around me were none the wiser.
Maybe I should've laid low, and that was the plan... until "We Didn't Start the Fire" came on the store's radio. I know EVERY word to that song! Well, at least I used to, I haven't heard it in a while so I may be a little rusty. But I have to say, as I belted it out walking - er, shuffling - down the grocery store aisles, I think I've still got it.
So if people didn't think the girl who has exposing her butt in the middle of the grocery store was nutso, the girl walking like she had a stick up her butt, they sure thought the girl simultaneously doing the Billy Joel impression was a little weird.
But I AM weird. Always have been. Here's another fun story that proves that I've been strange for a long time. It also takes place in a grocery store (like that segue?)
My mom recently reminded me of this story and I vaguely recall it. I became a vegetarian at a very young age (4). In the deli and meat section of our local grocery store, they had a pig in the glass display. A dead one (duh), cooked and with an apple in its mouth. One would think I would've been afraid of it, or at least grossed out, since I was avoiding eating meat at the time. No, strange-child-Lauren was OBSESSED with the pig at the grocery store. I used to ask my mom on a daily basis if we could go see it. Like, just go to LOOK at it. My mom, always a smart cookie, didn't think that was a "healthy" idea, even though I begged.
I wonder what the people who worked behind the deli counter thought about me?? The little four-year-old girl who liked to come stare at the pig. Were they disturbed? Amused? Did they look at me funny, like the people at Giant today?
